Breathe

Deep breathes. In, and out.

I dream of starting a revolution, but how can I do that if I can't even breath properly.

So deep breathes, no matter where I am or what's happening to me.

Just deep breathes. In, and out.

-Rage, March 2 2009 C.E.

Sirens

8:51 PM E.S.T., February 8th 2009 C.E.

I walked down into the kitchen only to freeze. A siren was going off, high and long and nothing like I had ever heard before.

Well, I actually heard Klaxons going off when I picked up my sister from school. At first I thought I was going crazy, but then my sister heard it too. We both just stood there until it stopped, then looked at each other with a distinct What The Fuck? expression.

This time the siren was different but just as eerie. Sirens are nothing new around here. you here them all day and all night - Ambulances, firetrucks, police - you name it. It's to the point where if I don't hear one or see flashing emergency lights flying down the streets it feels like something is out of place. I hear them in class and in my room when I'm trying, usually unsuccessfully, to sleep. Sometimes even when they're not there I hear the phantom ringing in my ears. I've asked other people and they say it happens to them too.

It's really just that bad.

But therer was something different about this one. The pitch, the length, it was all wrong, and I had no idea what it could be for. The only thing I could tell was that it was in the distance, but it was so loud that it reverberated off the houses on my block and probably around a good size of the town.

Strange things are going on, it's not lie anyone needs more proff the what is already there. But lately things have been wierder than usual, and I get the feeling that things will only get stranger.

- Rage

Living In Fire

Yea yea it's dark and Hell is hot.
Our daily bread sex drugs and violence, and now
the whole world's burning, drenched in oil and set on fire.

The Third World, apparently not our world, they burn from
the bullets and bombs. From the seemingly endless wars
and sickness and starvation.

We burn in a classroom, the curriculum a cell block, over medicated,
working until you die for a system you serve instead of the other
way it's supposed to be.

The people lay in the flames of apathy and selfishness and greed,
and that sweet indulgent fluid called lust. Destroying us, all for the
love of money and sex, with the only thing spreading faster than disease
is corruption...

Look around, we're living in fire.

-Rage, February 16 2009 CE

Writings: Vietnow

With the sounds of rage through the speakers I exhale the smoke,
and watch as it forms a vision of the world we live in.

It's a Vietnow kind of mind-state. What real here?
Terror and fear is the code that we live by
The God that we pray to.

A shadow covers the world like an eclipse.
I take my medication like the rest,
stuck in something we don't understand.
Knowing that there are men who hold absolute power,
and that the Earth itself is changing before our eyes,
and it's beyond scary so we drown ourselves in TV
and every other form of escapism.

But here, in the smoke,
to the sound of the drums and the bass is where I'll always see it.
And no amount of medication, of Ritalin and anti-depressant,
can distract me from I feel in my heart.

I don't want to be afraid anymore. Afraid of terrorists,
afraid of hell, afraid of judgment,
Afraid of each other...

Afraid of live for myself instead of living the "right" way.
And I know that if I keep walking down this road
I will die empty and unfulfilled.

This is the promise of the system.

But I refust all that now, and I will rage against this machine.

I will make this legend.

-Rage, February 6 2009 CE

Eve of the Empire/11-4-2008 (12 o'clock AM EST)

Today we'll make history.

One nation having influenced the whole world will decide who will lead us through these next four years, when many say the planet is running out of time. Pretty amazing this little rebel nation turned Empire has become.

I might be young, but even I can see that this is an event the world has never seen, because this is a country like the world has never seen. Where else has there even been a possibility that a person whose ancestors were slaves might come to lead it; or much more importantly, lead it at a time like this. His opponent will make history too, because no matter who wins they will be making decisions that will be far reaching across the globe.

It's a Brave New World where humankind has dreamed of since it's birth. One where we touched the stars and explored the ocean floors. It's the age where no place on Earth is left undiscovered, unmapped and diagrammed; where time and space are transcended and ideas and information are sent half way around the world to a mailbox that doesn't even really exist, just like these word you read.

And today the country that has been the most powerful in the new world, and many argue that it still is, will change forever whether we like it or not. Although I think I can say confidently that none of us are too happy about the way things are. The strain on the world is getting worse, we can see it every time we turn on the TV that sometimes seems more real than we are.

I can see this even though I'm young. Then again they say it is the youth that will decide the future for the first time; depending of which side we choose and of course, if we even choose at all. In the first nation to wipe two cities off the map from across the world, each with a single bomb, that's a lot of pressure. Even more with the talk of the country declining, and everyone knows, at least by now, that choosing wrong can be disastrous. This time we are totally divided.

So today will be history because the world is changing, and the country that changed it is changing itself. We're all holding our breaths, because we see a bit of what's coming and it definitely looks bleak. But today, we're a part of this future in the making.

So let's make it.

Personal Monolouge: It Never Ends

I've been really disappointed lately. Mostly in myself, and the way my life is going. I promised myself that I would be getting down to business; getting shit done, physically take the steps necessary to achieve the things I've sworn to accomplish before my time runs out.

Shit never seems to go right tho, and when it rains, it pours. It's almost too much to deal with. Getting kicked outa college, getting arrested, having to start talking to my father again just so he can take care of this legal shit--just so he can finally do something worthwhile in my life...

Speaking of fathers, I didn't grow up with one, but I never really cared much. After all, who grows up with both parents these days? Fucking wierdos if you ask me. It's not that he wasn't around--nah, me and my sister spent the every other weekend at his house. And for the most part, I was in hell. Because between a messy divorce and me fucking up at the fancy shmancy private school I attended (how could the children of two doctors not attend a private school?), he was always pissed and I was a convenient target. Not like he was around before tho...

Nah, my father was the lyrics in the music I listened to, the stories I read, the depression I felt, the weed I smoked and the liquor I drank. My father was my mother, my mother's boyfriend, my neighbors, my friends.

My father was me and my sister...because that's all we really had.

But lately, with all the trouble that I seem to find myself in, my mother and others "adults" around me seem to believe that having a "father" would have changed everything.

For real, people are so fucking simple minded. I've been different all my life. Shit, i've been on mental medication most of my life so that alone should say something (although maybe that's beginning to be normal these days). But despite the fact that I learned how to fit in anywhere and I can chill with everybody from rich preppy kids to thugged out drug dealers, i've only grown more and more different. My sister and my three best friends are the only ones who get me. They all happen to be really smart kids who have each been through some real crazy shit..

Coincidence? I think not.

I promised myself I'd show the world the things I see in my mind, the things that no one else can see and that made me feel so different growing up. It's the reason I'm an artists, because I've been trying to a a way to express these things. But nothing will ever happen if I don't get off my ass and get focused.

Damn, I should really stop drinking...

Status Report: Booby Traps

The challenge of modernity is to live without illusions and without becoming disillusioned. - Antonio Gramsci

Great. Except...

Living in an age of advertisement, we are perpetually disillusioned. The perfect life is spread before us everyday, but it changes and withers at a touch. - Joseph Priestly

What's real? You can't even tell these days. Special effects look realer than real life while the government repeats the same lies over and over again in attempt to make you believe it.

Believe none of what you hear and half of what you see. Those are the words to live by in the new millennium. Coming up in this age pretty much engraved those words in my mind. It's not hard to see the illusions around us if you stop and look. I think on some level we all know it, even if some choose to pretend that things are exactly as they're told.

It's hard not to become disillusioned these days. To many of us born and raised in these times, we can't remember a time when we weren't disillusioned. I can tell you that personally, I was a goddamn cynical little bastard. But there's mucho danger in disillusionment.

Disillusionment leads to hopelessness, and hopelessness leads to helplessness. You give up. After all, what's the point in trying? You can't change anything anyway.

Except after much reconnaissance and analysis I realized something.

That shit is a trap.

If you think like that you lose your power. Belief and intention are powerful. Everything from the Taoist I Ching to quantum physics points towards it. If you can dream it you can do it, we've been shown that over and over.

It's good to be disillusioned a bit, there's no place for naivety anymore. But don't let it trap you.

Think about it.