Monday, June 8, 2009

Stars, Destiny, and Coming Full Circle


image from http://womenofspirit.ning.com/ ...yea it fit that's all.

My very first ambition as a child was to be an astronaut. I was entranced by space; the stars and planets, and awed by supernovas and black holes and such. I didn't know many constellations, but I liked to look for the ones I did at night, and I spent hours looking through my Discovery Store telescope at the surface of the moon. I remember saying I would be the first person to land on Saturn. Eventually I found out that you can't land on Saturn because it isn't solid, and was told there's no way to ever make it there. So that dream faded away, which was okay because it was replaced by another, becoming an NBA star. And so for awhile I played basketball day and I night, I practically
breathed b-ball. I got really sick at it until eventually, I lost interest and moved to the next thing.

Reading, fiction or non for hours and hours on end about everything and anything, then Japanese animation, which lead me to my exploration of the visual arts, the path I pursued throughout the end of highschool till just a few weeks ago. But the one thing I always found pretty weird was the timing of each experience I had. Looking back, I can see how having a psychologist for a mother trained me to think analytically; pretty much trained me to break down motivations and understand social structures. Going to a prestigious private school yet living around "middle/lower-class" kids in an area with an increasing crime-rate helped me learn how to relate to all kinds of kids and fit in almost anywhere. The disconnectedness from my peers led me to delve into the world of music, where artists and bands such as Rage Against the Machine and Immortal Technique influenced me deeply, leading to the philosophies behind this very blog. But what I find most weird is the fact that certain things that I should have been interested in all along I totally ignored until suddenly, when I would be most ready to receive it, I would stumble upon the information that would unlock realizations I had been on the verge of discovering.

One instance I could point out is hacker culture. Being how anime, and specifically cyberpunk anime made a big influence on me as kid, and how addicted to computers and the internet i've always been, you would think that I would have gotten into hacking a long time ago. But for some reason, I pretty much totally ignored it. But then I started thinking a lot about human relations, and how people have always tried to hoard power and resources, and I realized that these days information is power; hence Information Warfare. I'm all about equalizing the balance of power, and low and behold, when I began to look into hacker culture the first things I came across were the concepts Information Dissemination and Open-source resources; the spread of power, information and resources to whoever is willing to seek it. This inspired in me concepts for other, non-technological open-to-anyone ideas like the GRA.

Even stranger is my recent exploration into astrology. Because I was into the cosmos as a little kid, it would make sense that while studying everything from holy books to quantum physics to the occult, I would become interested in astrology. Wrong. Until almost two months ago I could barely remember my sign. But one day I randomly decided to find out more about my zodiac, and when I read about Sagittarius I was shaken because I felt like my inner hunger for knowledge and truth, my overwhelming desire to travel the world and maybe even free other peoples along the way, feelings that I had felt strange and alone with corresponded to where the planets had been when I was born. The deeper I dug, the more I found the thoughts and understandings that I had just recently come to through much soul searching, reflected back to me with eerie precision and clarity.

At this point in my life I have finally found myself ready to make my own answers to the questions that have plagued me growing up, and I find it eerie that the stars and the planets that first intrigued me find themselves in agreement.

-Rage, June 9 2009 C.E.

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