Contamination

I don't know how to describe this feeling. It's this weird, almost manic energy except it feels unnatural, unclean. It radiates from my chest somehow, through my arms and legs and face, writhing under my skin with nervous tension, a kind of melancholy anxiety, making me want to move yet corroding my motivation to wright or draw or even get up and eat. So instead I just sit in my chair staring at the screen, paralyzed as time slips by.

Fuck. Go away damnit, I don't want you.

Go away.

-Rage, June 29 2009 C.E.

Visuals and abstract sketches from the brain

This is what came to me when listening to the song Welcome to the Universe, half asleep on the way to work. What do you think?

Welcome To The Universe - 30 Seconds To Mars



Just an abstract sketch in the graffiti-ish style. I just let my pen flow across the page into shapes and colors and this was the result.

Status Report: White-supremecist opens fire in Holocaust Museum

James von Brunn is an artist, World War II vet, oh yea, and one extremely racist son of a bitch. Von Brunn opened fire on the black security guard who opened the door for him, then was shot and critically wounded afterwards. This all took place just blocks from President Obama's Oval Office. It's pretty easy to see this guy wasn't intending to stop with just that; he has already done time for trying to kidnap two members of the Federal Reserve bank (who he says is controlled by Jews), and his writings on the internet include his piece 'Kill the Best Gentiles' and decrying the "browning of America". He also says the Holocaust never happened...

This is being labeled as some of the first signs of domestic terrorism, the third attack this month with political underpinnings.

The other two incidents are: the shooting of two new soldiers by a Muslim convert, and the slaying of abortion activist Dr. Goerge Tiller inside his local church.

Shit.

Stars, Destiny, and Coming Full Circle

image from http://womenofspirit.ning.com/ ...yea it fit that's all.

My very first ambition as a child was to be an astronaut. I was entranced by space; the stars and planets, and awed by supernovas and black holes and such. I didn't know many constellations, but I liked to look for the ones I did at night, and I spent hours looking through my Discovery Store telescope at the surface of the moon. I remember saying I would be the first person to land on Saturn. Eventually I found out that you can't land on Saturn because it isn't solid, and was told there's no way to ever make it there. So that dream faded away, which was okay because it was replaced by another, becoming an NBA star. And so for awhile I played basketball day and I night, I practically breathed b-ball. I got really sick at it until eventually, I lost interest and moved to the next thing.

Reading, fiction or non for hours and hours on end about everything and anything, then Japanese animation, which lead me to my exploration of the visual arts, the path I pursued throughout the end of highschool till just a few weeks ago. But the one thing I always found pretty weird was the timing of each experience I had. Looking back, I can see how having a psychologist for a mother trained me to think analytically; pretty much trained me to break down motivations and understand social structures. Going to a prestigious private school yet living around "middle/lower-class" kids in an area with an increasing crime-rate helped me learn how to relate to all kinds of kids and fit in almost anywhere. The disconnectedness from my peers led me to delve into the world of music, where artists and bands such as Rage Against the Machine and Immortal Technique influenced me deeply, leading to the philosophies behind this very blog. But what I find most weird is the fact that certain things that I should have been interested in all along I totally ignored until suddenly, when I would be most ready to receive it, I would stumble upon the information that would unlock realizations I had been on the verge of discovering.

One instance I could point out is hacker culture. Being how anime, and specifically cyberpunk anime made a big influence on me as kid, and how addicted to computers and the internet i've always been, you would think that I would have gotten into hacking a long time ago. But for some reason, I pretty much totally ignored it. But then I started thinking a lot about human relations, and how people have always tried to hoard power and resources, and I realized that these days information is power; hence Information Warfare. I'm all about equalizing the balance of power, and low and behold, when I began to look into hacker culture the first things I came across were the concepts Information Dissemination and Open-source resources; the spread of power, information and resources to whoever is willing to seek it. This inspired in me concepts for other, non-technological open-to-anyone ideas like the GRA.

Even stranger is my recent exploration into astrology. Because I was into the cosmos as a little kid, it would make sense that while studying everything from holy books to quantum physics to the occult, I would become interested in astrology. Wrong. Until almost two months ago I could barely remember my sign. But one day I randomly decided to find out more about my zodiac, and when I read about Sagittarius I was shaken because I felt like my inner hunger for knowledge and truth, my overwhelming desire to travel the world and maybe even free other peoples along the way, feelings that I had felt strange and alone with corresponded to where the planets had been when I was born. The deeper I dug, the more I found the thoughts and understandings that I had just recently come to through much soul searching, reflected back to me with eerie precision and clarity.

At this point in my life I have finally found myself ready to make my own answers to the questions that have plagued me growing up, and I find it eerie that the stars and the planets that first intrigued me find themselves in agreement.

-Rage, June 9 2009 C.E.

A True Revolution

So yea see, I have this burning desire to know everything I guess. I just want to know so much about the world around me; I want to understand these bizarre thoughts and ideas I've always had. I've scoured wikipedia for days at a time, and I've read good deal from most of the holy books. Most recently I've been deep in the digital scrolls of Gnostic philosophy and some other stuff I guess you could call metaphysics. But it doesn't matter what I read, because whether psychology or philosophy or quantum physics, it all leads back to revolution. But what I see as a true revolution is different from most in history.

A true revolution transcends all levels. It's not just about overturning corrupt laws or governments; it goes beyond that. It must help people to understand what true human values are, help them to understand life, their life and allow them the freedom to find out their own answers and truths. That is the concept behind a Meta-Revolution. A revolution of one, a revolution on the inside as well as out. It's about breaking out of all imposed boundaries and being completely free to choose from the vast options in this world.

True freedom is the ability to choose your own destiny and be able to make that destiny a reality. It doesn't matter if society is really turning deeply tyrannical or not, because any thing, system, or even self-imposed limitation that prevents you from pursuing what makes you feel alive is the enemy. Revolutions are always about freeing the people from corrupt governments, but true freedom allows for people to live under such government as long as they choose to. Why they would though, I couldn't guess.

But we're all individuals, we all have to discover what's right for ourselves. Even if it means conforming with everyone else. It's self-determination at it's finest. The problem is that higher powers than most of us, for whatever reason, don't want that. The current state of society is that you work within society, within their rules and regulation that for the most part, you have no say in. We all know that going through the "proper" channels is an exercise in futility at best.

I believe that more and more people are beginning to feel this way, and that it is a belief worth fighting and potentially dieing for. Because as high and transcendental such a revolution sounds make no mistake. This is war.

I believe that is a true revolution.

-Rage, June 3 2009 C.E.